Colton: Does this look like the work of little green men?
Mulder: Grey
Colton: Excuse me?
Mulder: Grey. You said 'green men'. A reticule's skin tone is actually grey. They're notorious for their extraction of terrestrial human livers due to iron depletion in the Reticular galaxy.
Colton: You can't be serious.
Mulder: Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for on Reticula?

CSM: As long as I'm alive that doesn't happen.

Mulder: You know... you had a pair of agents that could have handled this. Agent Scully and I might have been able to save this man's life, but you shut us down.
Skinner: I know. It should've been an X-file.
 
Skinner: Ms. Scully, I think you underestimate the duties and responsibilities in my position as assistant director.

Doctor: You're gonna have to calm down sir.
Mulder: I will calm down when somebody gives me a reason to calm down, now I'm looking for a patient that was admitted to the ER.
Doctor: Dana Scully?
Mulder: Yes.
Doctor: I heard you the first time.
Mulder: Well, where is she?

Mulder: That's exactly how it happened? Right here in this room?
Roche: Yeah
Mulder: Wrong house.

CSM: You're in no position to question the terms of our arrangement.

Agent Pendrel: Shouldn't we wait for agent Scully? Just so I don't have to repeat myself.
Mulder: She's not coming.
Agent Pendrel: Why not?
Mulder: She has a date.
Agent Pendrel: (looks disheartened)
Mulder: Breathe, agent Pendrel. It's with a dead man. She's doing an autopsy.

Melissa: Why is it so dark in here?
Mulder: Because the lights aren't on.

Man: Why are you so paranoid Mulder?
Mulder: Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because I find it hard to trust anybody.

Officer: Mulder, why are you so paranoid?
Mulder: It's not paranoia when you're right.

Skinner: What's going on here agent Mulder? Why are the lights out?
Mulder: Orders from my Ophthalmologist.

MIB: Your cellular phone has beeb ringing off the hook.
Mulder: I'm a popular guy. Why don't you answer it for me.
MIB: Oh, I don't like talking on the phone. I have this thing about unsecured lines
 
CSM: That was the phone call I never wanted to get.

Deep Throat: Calling it a night Mr. Mulder?
Mulder: My mother usually likes me home before the street lights come on.

Indian man: You even have an Indian name, Fox. Should be Running Fox or Stinking Fox...
Mulder: So long as it isn't Spooky Fox.

(after hanging up on Scully)
Police officer: Who was that?
Mulder: My drug dealer.

Mulder: I don't remember giving you a key.
Skinner: Came to see you. Obviously, I was late for the party.
Mulder: Yeah, I should really fire my mad, shouldn't  I?
 
Skinner: Where are you going?
Mulder: ICU.
Skinner: You look pretty good for a dead man.
Mulder: I'm only half dead.
Skinner: You have a lot to answer for agent Mulder.

Krycek: If you leave me out there, I'm gonna freeze to death.
Skinner: Just think warm thoughts.

Skinner: Now I wanna an explanation.
Mulder: Your cigarette smoking friend killed my father for that tape and then he killed me.
Skinner: What are you talking about?
Mulder: I was a dead man, now I'm back.
 
Skinner: This is where you pucker up and kiss my ass.

Scully: Is this what it takes to climb the ladder, Colton?
Agent Colton: All the way to the top.
Scully: Then I can't wait till you fall off and land on your ass.

Cancer Man: As long as I'm alive that doesn't happen.

X: Calling it a night, Mr Mulder?
Mulder: My mother usually likes me home before the streetlights come on.

CSM: Life.. if like a box of chocolates...

Sheriff Hamilton: May I ask what you're doing?
Mulder: We're exhuming... your potato.

Mulder: And what category is that?
Ed: Narcissistic, over zealous, self-righteous ego-maniac.
Mulder: That's a category?

Scully: Communicate with what?
Gibson: You already know. You just don't want to believe it.

Kritschgau: What you want most desperately of all.
Mulder: A cure for Scully's cancer?

Scully: I was... uh... supposed to pick up a delivery from him...
Kersch's secretary: Agent Spender is with Assistant Director Kersch.
Scully: That rat bastard!!

Morris Fletcher: Listen, Dana, after we return this flight recorder, what do you say I have a word with the big man, see if I can get your job back? We could have a lot of fun together, once you get to know me. You know that, Danes?
Scully: Still got my gun.

Morris Fletcher: There is no Suddam Hussein. This guy's name is John Gillnitz. We found him doing dinner theatre in Tulsa. He did a mean King and I. Plays good ethnics.

AD: These spacelings, Agent Mulder; they weren't something I saw in Men in Black?
Mulder: I didn't see Men in Black.
AD: Well, it's a damn good movie.

Skinner: Use your head, Scully, it'll save your ass.
Scully: Save your own ass, sir. You'll save your head along with it.

Scully: I want you to do me a favour. It's not negotiable. Either you do it, or I kill you. You understand?
Spender: You okay Agent Scully?
Scully: No, I'm not, I'm a gun ready to go off, so don't test me Spender, and don't even think about trying to weasel me.

Mulder: Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different. Alright: Your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is... hell, I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret. Your brother's name is Bill Jr, he's in the navy and he hates me. Lately for lunch you've been having this six ounce cup of yoghurt, plain yoghurt, into which you stir some bee pollen, cos you're on some sort of bee pollen kick, even though I tell you you're a scientist and you should know better.
Joanne: Cheater!
Scully: Look, any of that information could have been gathered by anyone.
Mulder: Even that yoghurt thing?

Barmaid: Looks like 86 is your lucky number.
Mulder: You know, one is the loneliest number.

Kurtzweil: While the rest of the world have been fighting gooks and commies, these men have been secretly negotiating a
planned armageddon!

WMM: Kill Mulder, we take the risk of turning one man's quest into a crusade.

Bronschweig: So much for the little green men.

Scully: Well, we're FBI agents.
Kid: You're not FBI agents.
Mulder: How do you know?
Kid: Because y'all look like door-to-door salesmen!

Padgett: In my book I'd writen that Agent Scully falls in love, but that's obviously impossible. Agent Scully is already in love.

Langly: What killed him?
Scully: My medical opinion? BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Langly: And that's all you found?
Scully: That's all I know.

Morris Fletcher: Cigarette?
Scully: (giggles)
Frohike: You don't smoke.
Scully: But whose got a match? ... I just can't decide who lights my fire.

Skinner: They going to deny your access.
Scully: Maybe as his partner, but not as his doctor.

Scully: 24 panels. One for each human chromosome. A map of their making, maybe a map of our entire genetic making. A complete human genome. I mean, it's like... it's the most beautiful ... intricate work of art
Amina N.: It's the word of God

Mulder:Scully... we never escaped. We're still trapped underground.
Scully: Mulder, we did escape. I think you're suffering from post traumatic stress
Mulder:No, I'm not. This is not real. You're not real
Skinner:Mulder, I ...
Mulder:I'll prove it, Scully
Scully: Mulder!

CSM: No more interesting than your apparent... ah... lingerie fetish